Cognitive Behaviour Therapies I- Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy Dr. Albert Ellis and Gloria Video Review CBT and REBT

 

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPIES AND REBT

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       Dr. Albert Ellis and Gloria Video Review's 

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0:05

Rational therapy or rational emotive therapy,

0:08

also called RT for short,

0:11

is based on several fundamental propositions or hypotheses.

0:16

And the first of these is that the past

0:18

is not crucial in a person's life .

0:22

The past affects him a good deal

0:25

but he affects himself much more than the past affects him.

0:29

Because no matter what he has learned

0:32

during his historical development,

0:35

the only reason why these things that have happened to him

0:38

and have been told to him

0:40

affect him today

0:42

is because he is still re-indoctrinating himself

0:46

with the same philosophies of life,

0:49

the same values that he usually imbibed

0:53

and taught himself too early in his childhood.

0:57

So we stick largely in the present

1:01

in rational emotive psychotherapy rather than in the past.

1:05

And we believe that today the individual

1:08

experiences negative emotions,self-defeating behavior,

1:13

inefficiencies because he now is indoctrinating himself

1:19

with what we call simple exclamatory sentences

1:23

which involve ideas.

1:25

Human beings can tell themselves ideas in all kinds of languages,

1:30

in pictures, in sign languages,

1:33

in non-verbal expression, in math, for example,

1:35

but they normally speak to themselves in simple English

1:39

if English is their native tongue.

1:42

And when they talk to themselves in an irrational

1:45

or an illogical way then they create,

1:49

they literally create their negative feelings or emotions

1:53

in the behavior that follows there from.

1:57

Now just to give an example,

1:59

the individual usually tells himself when he's upset,

2:03

first a sane sentence and then an insane sentence.

2:07

The sane sentence is something along the order of

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I don't like the thing that I've done,

2:13

I dislike my own behavior.

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And that would be fine

2:17

but unfortunately he follows it with an insane sentence

2:22

which says to himself

2:24

and because I don't like my behavior I am a louse,

2:28

I am worthless, I am a no-goodnik.

2:31

And this thoroughly insane sentence,

2:33

which is a sentence of faith unfounded on fact

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which has no empirical reference,

2:40

which is a kind of superstitious or dogmatically religious system,

2:44

creates what we call his anxiety and through his anxiety

2:47

his depression, his guilt,

2:49

his other forms of self- defeatism.

2:52

Or again, the individual tells himself the same sentence

2:56

I don't like your behavior when, let us say,

2:59

somebody has acted badly with him.

3:01

And instead of following that up with

3:04

that because I don't like your behavior

3:07

I can still stand it and I'm going to change to

3:11

get you to change your behavior, he says

3:13

I can't stand your behavior or in an absolutistic God-like,

3:18

grandiose manner, you shouldn't be the way you are

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because I think that I don't like the way you are.

3:26

Now it's these second,

3:28

B, sentences which upset the individual.

3:31

Or another way of putting it, as Epictetus, a Roman philosopher,

3:35

said many years ago, it's not what happens to us at point A

3:38

that upsets us, it's B, our view of what happens to us.

3:44

And in rational emotive psychotherapy

3:45

we go after this individual,

3:47

the patient's view and show him

3:49

that whatever he thinks has upset him,

3:52

usually some external situation,

3:54

what somebody else has done,

3:55

it's really what he's telling himself about this thing,

3:59

this event which upsets him.

4:01

And although he may never be able to do anything about

4:04

the external event at A,

4:05

he can change the internal event,

4:09

his sentence, his belief to himself at B.

4:12

Now in rational emotive psychotherapy we try to show

4:15

the patient three kinds of insight in contradistinctions

4:18

with some other therapies

4:19

which usually emphasize one major kind.

4:22

The first kind we try to show him is that all his behavior,

4:26

especially his negative,

4:28

self-defeating behavior

4:29

which we're interested and which is upsetting him,

4:32

has clear-cut ideological antecedents.

4:36

He may have learned these, as I said before, in the past

4:39

but right now today he must still believe

4:41

these same ideologies else he would not get

4:44

the negative behavior that flows there from.

4:48

And insight number two,

4:50

which is most important and which is

4:52

unfortunately neglected in many other systems of psychotherapy,

4:56

is that he being as Ernst Cassirer once said

4:59

a symbolizing animal is continually re-indoctrinating

5:03

himself with these ideologies and that's the issue,

5:09

that's why he's now disturbed.

5:11

Now insight number three is

5:13

that even when he sees clearly what he's telling himself

5:15

and that he's telling himself nonsense,

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only by work and practice,

5:20

by continually reassessing and revaluing his own

5:24

philosophic assumptions will he ever get better.

5:29

Now we also stress the fact that

5:31

action is necessary to change an individual.

5:34

Just talking about things,

5:36

thinking about things is nice but not necessary.

5:39

Or I should say it's not a necessary condition

5:41

for a psychotherapeutic change.

5:44

What the individual has to do in addition usually is act.

5:48

And we therefore give him concrete homework assignments

5:52

and get him to act these out

5:54

and check up and follow to see

5:56

whether he does these homework assignments.

5:59

And our final goal is to get the individual to learn

6:02

and learn for the rest of his life

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to challenge and question his own basic value system,

6:08

his own thinking so that he really thinks for himself.

6:13

He must do this particularly when he feels miserable,

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he feels anxiety or depression or guilt

6:19

or too much frustration

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or anything else that is negative

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or when he behaves very inefficiently.

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And finally he was able through this kind of new thinking,

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rethinking his own assumptions

6:33

to apply what we call the scientific method

6:36

to the facets of human living and to be truly scientific

6:42

in his behavior to question and challenge his own assumptions

6:45

and we do in science and thereby to minimize,

6:48

though never entirely to eliminate,

6:50

the terrible anxiety and the atrocious hostility

6:55

which unfortunately affects most of us in this existence.

7:05

Hello, Gloria, I'm Dr. Ellis.

7:06

Hello, how do you do, Dr. Ellis.

7:08

Do you want to be seated, please?

7:12

Well, would you like to tell me what's bothering you most?

7:17

Hmm, yeah.

7:19

I think the things that I'd like to talk to you the most about

7:22

are adjusting to my single life, mostly men, I guess.

7:30

As a matter of fact, I don't know if I'm doing

7:32

the wrong thing but I'm going to refer to your book anyway

7:34

because this is what I'm impressed with,

7:36

the book about The Intelligent Women's Guide to Man-Hunting.

7:38

Yeah.

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I tried to follow it and I believe in it.

7:42

This is why it's so fun reading your book

7:43

because I'm not much of a reader

7:45

but I sort of believe the same way you do.

7:48

But then I've got a problem in this area.

7:49

The men I'm attracted to

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or the type of man I'd like to become closely involved with

7:57

I can't seem to meet or I get too shy

7:59

with or something but it just doesn't click.

8:03

The men I seem to be dating nowadays

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are the ones that I don't respect much,

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the ones I don't enjoy much,

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that seem flip and uninteresting.

8:10

And I don't know if it's something about me

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or what because I really do want to meet his kind of man.

8:15

Well, let's talk a little about your shyness.

8:17

Let's suppose you meet somebody who you consider eligible,

8:21

that you might like.

8:22

Now let's see if we can get at the source of your shyness,

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just what you're telling yourself to create this.

8:28

You meet this man and you feel shy, embarrassed.

8:32

Yes, but I don't usually show that.

8:34

I usually act flip right back.

8:35

Yeah.

8:36

I act like the other men act to me, as a matter of fact.

8:38

I act flip.

8:39

I don't seem near as intelligent.

8:41

I act like a typical dumb blonde.

8:44

I'm just not myself with them.

8:46

I'm more un-at-ease.

8:48

Yes, well, as you probably know from Guide to Man-Hunting,

8:52

I believe that people only get emotions

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such as negative emotions of shyness,

8:57

embarrassment, shame

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because they tell themselves something

9:00

in simple exclamatory sentences.

9:02

Now let's try to find out what you're telling yourself.

9:05

You're meeting this individual.

9:07

Now what do you think you are saying

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to yourself before you get flip.

9:10

I know what it is, that I'm not,

9:13

I don't stand up to his expectations.

9:14

I'm not quite enough for him. He's superior to me.

9:17

Although I want this type of man,

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I'm afraid I won't have enough to attract him.

9:20

Well, that's the first part of the sentence

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and that might be a true one

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because maybe he could be superior to you in some ways.

9:27

Maybe he wouldn't be attracted to you.

9:28

But that would never upset you if you were only

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saying that I think he may be superior to me.

9:33

Now you're adding a second sentence to that

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which is if this is so that would be awful.

9:40

Well, I'm not quite so extreme as that

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cause I've thought about that too.

9:42

It's usually I've missed my chance again

9:45

because if I want to show the very best of myself,

9:49

because I think I have self-confidence,

9:50

and I have enough to offer.

9:51

Yeah.

9:51

But when I get afraid like that then I show

9:54

all the bad qualities.

9:55

I'm flip.

9:58

Then I'm so much on the defensive that I can't show

10:01

my good qualities and it's like I missed my change again.

10:03

There was a good opportunity to be close to this man

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and I loused it up again.

10:07

All right, but even let's suppose you're saying that,

10:09

and I think you really are,

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but you must be saying something else too

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because if you were just saying,

10:14

hell, I missed my chance again

10:15

you'd say, all right, next time

10:17

I'll take advantage of what I learned this time

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and do it a little better.

10:20

Now you still must be saying if you feel shame, embarrassment,

10:24

shyness that there's something pretty bad

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about your error in missing your chance again.

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I don't know if this follows in contact to what you're saying

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but the thing I do feel is that I get suspicious then,

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am I the type of woman that will only appeal to the ones

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that are not my type of guy anyway?

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Is there something wrong with me?

10:45

Am I never going to find the kind of man I enjoy?

10:48

I always seem to get the other ones.

10:50

All right, now you're getting closer to what I'm talking about

10:52

cause you're really saying

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if I am this type of woman

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that none of these good, eligible men

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that I could appeal to

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then that would be awful.

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I'd never get what I want

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and that would really be something frightful.

11:05

Plus, I don't like thinking of myself that way.

11:08

I want to put myself on a higher standard.

11:09

I don't like to think that I'm maybe just an average Jane Doe.

11:13

Well, let's just suppose for the sake of argument

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at the moment that that were so.

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All right.

11:18

That you were an average Jane Doe.

11:19

Now would that be so terrible?

11:21

It would be inconvenient. It would be unpleasant.

11:23

You wouldn't want it.

11:25

But would you get an emotion like shyness,

11:28

embarrassment, shame out of just believing that

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maybe I'm gonna end up like Jane Doe?

11:34

I don't know.

11:36

I don't think you could because you still would have to be

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saying on some level

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as I think you just said

11:40

and it would be very bad, it would be terrible.

11:43

I would be a no-goodnik if I were just Jane Doe.

11:46

Well, plus I'd never get what I want.

11:49

If I were just a Jane Doe and if I would have to accept that

11:51

I'd never get what I want and I don't want to live

11:53

the rest of my life with just icky men.

11:55

Well, it's not necessarily so that you'd never.

11:57

You really mean your chances would be reduced

11:59

because we know some icky girls

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who get some splendid men, don't we?

12:04

You see, so you're generalizing there.

12:06

You're saying it probably would be

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that I'd have a more difficult time

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but then you're jumping to therefore I'd never get at all.

12:13

You see the catastrophizing there that you jumped to.

12:16

Yes, but it feels that way to me at the time.

12:18

It seems like forever.

12:19

That's right.

12:20

But isn't that a vote of non-confidence in you?

12:23

An essential vote of non-confidence?

12:25

And the non-confidence is because you're saying,

12:27

one, I don't want to miss out on things.

12:30

I would like to get the kind of a man I want and be a,

12:34

in your words, superior kind of girl

12:35

who gets a superior kind of man.

12:37

Yes.

12:38

But if I don't

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then I'm practically on the other side

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of the chain completely,

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a no-goodnik, somebody who will never get anything that I want,

12:48

which is quite an extreme away, isn't it?

12:51

Yes.

12:52

And that's what I call catastrophizing.

12:54

Taking a true statement,

12:56

and there is a good deal of truth in what you're saying,

12:57

if you didn't get the kind of a man you wanted

13:00

that it would be inconvenient,

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annoying, frustrating, which it really would be

13:04

and then saying I'd never possibly get what I want.

13:07

And even beyond that you're really saying

13:09

and then I couldn't be a happy human being.

13:11

Aren't you really saying that on some level?

13:12

But let's just look at that.

13:14

Let's just assume the worst,

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as Bertrand Russell once said years ago.

13:17

Assume that worst, that you never got at all,

13:19

for whatever the reasons may be, the kind of a man you want.

13:22

Look at all the other things you could do in life to be happy.

13:27

Well, I don't like the whole process.

13:29

I don't even like it as I'm going through it.

13:33

All right, even if it wasn't a catastrophe.

13:34

Yeah.

13:35

Even if I didn't look at it as a catastrophe,

13:37

I don't like the way I'm living right now.

13:38

For example, when I meet somebody that I'm interested in

13:41

that could have some potential,

13:43

right away I find I'm not near as relaxed with him.

13:45

I worry more should I be friendly,

13:47

should I kiss him good night, should I do this?

13:49

If it's just a Joe Doe and I don't give a darn

13:51

I can be anything I want to be.

13:52

I turn out to be more of a person

13:54

when I'm not as concerned.

13:56

I don't like the way I'm.

13:59

But you're not really concerned,

14:00

you're over-concerned, you're anxious.

14:02

Because if you were just concerned

14:03

you'd do your best and you'd be saying to yourself

14:05

if I succeed, great,

14:07

if I don't succeed, tough,

14:08

right now I won't get what I want.

14:10

But you're over-concerned or anxious.

14:12

You're really saying, again,

14:14

just what we said a moment ago,

14:15

if I don't get what I want right now

14:17

I'll never get it and that would be so awful

14:19

that I've got to get it right now.

14:21

That causes the anxiety, doesn't it?

14:23

Yes, or else work toward it.

14:25

Yes, but if you.

14:26

If I don't get it right now that's all right

14:27

but I want to feel like I'm working toward it.

14:29

Yes, but you want a guarantee I hear.

14:32

My trained ears hear you saying I would like a guarantee

14:34

of working towards it

14:35

and there are no certainties and guarantees.

14:36

Well, no, Dr. Ellis,

14:38

I don't know why I'm coming out that way.

14:39

What I really mean is I want a step toward working toward it.

14:43

Well, what's stopping you?

14:45

I don't know. I thought, well, what I was hoping is whatever this is in me

14:49

why I don't seem to be attracting these kind of men.

14:51

Why I seem more on the defensive?

14:52

Why I seem more afraid?

14:55

You could help me what it is I'm afraid of

14:57

so I won't do it so much.

14:58

Well, my hypothesis is so far that what you're afraid of

15:02

is not just failing with this individual man,

15:05

which is really the only thing at issue when you got out with a new,

15:08

and we're talking about eligible males now,

15:10

we'll rule out the ineligible ones.

15:12

You're not just afraid that you'll miss this one,

15:15

you're afraid that you'll miss this one

15:17

and therefore you'll miss every other

15:19

and therefore you've proved that you are really

15:21

not up to getting what you want and wouldn't that be awful.

15:26

You're bringing in these catastrophes.

15:28

Well, you sound more strong at it but that's similar.

15:30

I feel like this is silly if I keep this up.

15:33

There's something I'm doing.

15:35

There's something I'm doing not to be as real a person

15:37

with these men that I'm interested in.

15:38

That's right, you're defeating your own ends.

15:40

I've done it again.

15:41

If I weren't so doggone anxious about trying to hook this guy

15:43

I could be more real.

15:45

He's going to enjoy me more if I'm real anyway.

15:47

So I'm only giving him the stinky part of me.

15:49

Right.

15:50

How can anybody I respect respect a chooch

15:52

and that's what I am when I don't really come through.

15:54

But look how you just devalued yourself.

15:56

Let's just suppose for the sake of argument

15:58

you kept giving the stinky part of you.

16:01

All right.

16:01

A human being, another person who is trying

16:02

to get interested in you might not like these attributes,

16:06

these characteristics of you

16:08

but I don't think he's going to despise you as a person,

16:12

which you are really doing.

16:13

I am harder on myself than I think he is.

16:15

That's exactly the point.

16:16

But he just doesn't like me, there's not enough to me.

16:18

Right, and as I said before, if people just didn't like you

16:21

and you went through enough of them,

16:22

and it would be hard to go through enough

16:24

but it would be possible, you'd eventually find one

16:26

who did like you and whom you liked.

16:28

But as long as you devalue yourself personally in your own eyes,

16:31

you complicate the problem enormously

16:33

and you're not focusing on how can I be myself.

16:37

Change the traits.

16:38

If you, for example,

16:40

had a, let us just say, a mangled arm

16:43

and you wouldn't accept your whole person,

16:46

your being because of this mangled arm

16:48

then you would focus so much on that mangled arm

16:51

that you wouldn't be able to do things

16:52

that you would otherwise be able to do.

16:54

That's almost what I do, yes.

16:55

Yes, you see, that's exactly.

16:57

So you're taking a part of you,

16:58

an arm, and focusing almost completely on that.

17:02

And just to bring it down to our own conversation,

17:05

you're taking a part of you, your shyness,

17:07

your not being yourself with males

17:09

and focusing so much on that part

17:11

that you're almost making it the whole of you

17:14

and you get an awful picture of your total self

17:17

because of this defective part.

17:19

And we're assuming, you and I, that it is defective.

17:21

We're not glossing over and saying,

17:22

oh, you're doing all right.

17:24

You're not doing that well.

17:25

Right.

17:25

Now if you could accept yourself for the time being

17:28

with this defective part,

17:31

with these attributes and not beat yourself over the head,

17:33

as I feel you definitely are doing,

17:36

then it becomes a relatively simple problem

17:38

to work and practice, to work and practice

17:41

against this negative attribute.

17:43

In other words, let's get back to that now, how to be yourself.

17:46

Let's just suppose for the moment that you really

17:48

were fully accepting yourself with your failings.

17:51

All right.

17:52

You know you're going to go out

17:53

and you know you're going to screw up with the next man

17:55

and the man after that in all probability but you're saying,

17:57

all right, I have to go through a learning process,

17:59

that's too bad.

18:01

I won't be very good during this while

18:03

but I'll do it just as I would as ice skating

18:05

where I'd have to fall on my neck for a few times

18:08

before I learn to ice skate.

18:09

OK, now let's suppose that.

18:11

Then if that were so, if you were really accepting you,

18:14

you'd go out, take the risks of being you

18:17

because after all if you do win one of these men,

18:19

you have to be yourself.

18:21

You're not winning them for a day.

18:22

You're not winning them for an affair.

18:24

I assume you want to marry one of these individuals

18:26

eventually and be with them a long time.

18:28

But mostly a long relationship.

18:29

I don't think so much as marriage as a long relationship.

18:31

All right, a long relationship,

18:32

in the course of which you couldn't act.

18:34

So we don't want to give you some technique of acting well

18:36

that he will later find out was a role-playing sort of thing.

18:39

So you have to eventually be yourself.

18:41

Now if you really weren't so disturbed about these present,

18:46

current failings of yours

18:47

you could go out and be this self of yours,

18:50

ask yourself what do I really want to do with this man

18:54

to help enjoy him and have him help enjoy me?

18:57

Because that's the basic function of life,

18:59

enjoyment, which we tend to lose.

19:02

And you force yourself to take the risk of being that

19:05

because if you succeeded, great, if you failed, too bad.

19:09

Either you are not for him or he may even not be for you.

19:13

Because don't forget, you said before when these men reject you,

19:15

you assume right away it must be my doing and my fault.

19:18

You know they may not be your cup of tea

19:21

and you may not be their cup of tea and it's nobody fault.

19:24

It's just true incompatibility.

19:26

I know it could be, yes.

19:26

You see.

19:27

Yeah.

19:28

So if you would really accept yourself

19:30

as you are and then force yourself,

19:33

and if you were one of my regular patients

19:35

I would give you this homework assignment

19:37

and then check up on you to see whether you could force yourself

19:40

to open your big mouth and be you for a while.

19:44

Even though it hurt with these males, you would find that,

19:49

A, you would start being yourself

19:51

and gradually lopping off these inefficiencies,

19:53

which incidentally are the result of not being you

19:56

but watching yourself from the outside

19:59

while you're trying to be you, which is almost impossible.

20:01

Because you can't spy on yourself

20:03

and still be yourself very well at the same time.

20:07

No, but it would become like a habit.

20:09

After a while if you took the risks

20:11

and forced yourself to,

20:13

as I said, open your big mouth

20:15

and even though you thought maybe it will come out badly,

20:17

maybe he won't like me,

20:19

maybe I'll lose him completely, and so on and so forth,

20:22

then you'd start swinging in the groove

20:26

and being what you want to be.

20:28

And I would almost guarantee

20:30

that you'd become more practiced and less inefficient,

20:33

especially in terms of the shyness,

20:35

because you wouldn't be focusing on,

20:37

oh my God, isn't this awful how bad I am.

20:38

You would be focusing on what a nice individual

20:42

this is and how can I enjoy him,

20:45

which is the focus, the purpose of the relationship.

20:47

Well, you say my focus is the opposite way.

20:49

Right.

20:50

How can I be more attractive to him

20:51

and how can he be pleased by me?

20:53

Because underneath if I am not then I cannot enjoy myself.

20:58

I refuse to accept myself

21:00

unless I attract and win this good individual.

21:04

Isn't that what you're basically saying?

21:05

Yes, I even go further, Dr.Ellis.

21:07

When there is one of these men I come in contact with

21:11

and I find that I want to

21:12

cultivate more of a relationship,

21:14

well, if he accepts me and we're going along pretty great,

21:16

I find myself constantly on the defensive.

21:19

Constantly watching the way I sit,

21:20

not drinking too much,

21:21

the whole time instead of just relaxing and saying

21:23

he'll either like me or he doesn't.

21:25

An emotion in psychotherapy.

21:26

You're giving a very good illustration of why

21:28

other-directedness doesn't pay.

21:32

Because if you really are defining yourself

21:35

in terms of others' estimation of you

21:37

then even when you're ahead of the game and you're winning them

21:39

you have to be saying to yourself will I win them today,

21:41

will I win them tomorrow, will I keep winning them?

21:44

And you're always focused on am I doing the things to please him

21:47

and you never are yourself, you never have a self.

21:51

While if you're saying what do I want to do in life,

21:54

there must be some human beings who would like me the way I am,

21:59

let's see if this is one of those human beings

22:02

then that's the only way is that you can be.

22:05

You see?

22:05

Yeah.

22:06

Now we haven't got too much time now

22:07

so let's try to get it off on a constructive note

22:10

of more concretely what you can do.

22:12

You asked before where you can go, how you can meet new people.

22:16

I'd say that, I don't know this particular area

22:19

but it's almost anyplace,

22:20

if you could do what we are talking about,

22:23

really take risks and focus on what you want out of life,

22:26

and on the fact that it's going to take time,

22:29

which unfortunately it does,

22:31

and it is not awful and you are not awful

22:33

while it's taking that time,

22:34

then you can leave yourself open

22:37

unshyly to all kinds of new encounters.

22:40

And these encounters can take place on busses,

22:44

while waiting for a street car,

22:46

if they have street cars in this area,

22:47

at cocktail parties, anywhere.

22:49

You can talk to people who look eligible,

22:52

you can ask your friends to get you eligible males, and so on.

22:56

But the main thing is that you have to,

22:59

A, like yourself while you're not doing badly

23:03

and, B, not be intolerant

23:06

against conditions which are bad.

23:09

And I'm agreeing with you that they are.

23:11

Now as I said, I would give you if you were a patient of mine

23:14

the homework assignment of deliberately,

23:17

very deliberately going out and getting yourself into trouble.

23:20

In other words, taking the most eligible males

23:23

you can find at the moment

23:25

and forcing yourself, risking yourself to be you.

23:30

Are you saying even if it were like

23:32

if I went into a doctor's office to start a conversation with him

23:34

because he was attractive to me or he appealed to me?

23:37

Right.

23:38

Even go so far as to starting out a conversation with him,

23:40

a personal one?

23:41

Why not?

23:42

If he's an eligible individual,

23:44

any kind of an eligible individual.

23:46

Well, I know you accept that

23:47

but that seems awfully brazen or something.

23:49

Well, let's suppose it is brazen.

23:51

What have you got to lose?

23:52

The worst he can do is reject you.

23:53

And you don't have to reject you

23:55

if you were thinking along the lines

23:57

that we've been talking five minutes or so.

23:59

Oh, yeah.

24:01

Now can you try to do that?

24:03

I think, I think so.

24:04

It sort of gives me a spurt to go out and see.

24:07

You're right, that's all I can do is be rejected.

24:09

Right, and that leaves you intact.

24:12

It just leaves you,

24:14

unfortunately, not for the moment getting what you want.

24:17

So you try.

24:18

The one you've already read

24:19

and I'll be very interested in finding out what happens.

24:22

Oh, I'm excited about it.

24:25

Well, it was certainly very nice meeting you, Gloria.

24:27

Thank you, Dr.

24:33

I enjoyed talking with this interesting

24:35

and I think highly courageous patient

24:38

and thought that the session gave a pretty good illustration

24:43

of a fairly typical session of rational emotive psychotherapy.

24:47

How was it typical? In several ways.

24:50

In the first place,

24:52

I was able rather rapidly and quickly

24:56

to get to some of what I think are the philosophic cores

24:59

of the patient's disturbances.

25:01

To show her that the reason she is feeling shy and ashamed

25:06

and afraid in this instance is because,

25:10

even though partially unwittingly,

25:12

she is defining herself in a very negative way

25:15

or devaluing herself by blaming herself

25:18

too much for imperfect behavior.

25:21

Because perfectionism is the root of most human evils

25:25

and she was showing some fairly typical perfectionistic notions.

25:30

So very quickly,

25:31

as is usually done in rational emotive psychotherapy,

25:33

we skipped some of the asides,

25:35

we skipped going back into the history

25:37

as some of these psychoanalysts do

25:40

and we skipped some of the transference relations

25:43

between us and the patient

25:45

and we skipped some of the non-verbal expression.

25:49

Not that we think these things are quite unimportant

25:52

but we think there are of relatively little relevance

25:55

to the basic core of the patient's disturbance

25:57

which is her philosophy of life.

25:59

And typically again, this patient showed both anxiety

26:03

and low frustration tolerance which most patients showed.

26:07

And these were intertwined and,again,

26:09

very usually she was then beating herself over the head,

26:14

blaming herself, condemning herself

26:15

for feeling these kinds of feelings.

26:20

Now she did not see very clearly,

26:22

at least I thought so at the beginning of the session,

26:24

exactly what declarative sentences

26:27

and exclamatory sentences she was telling herself

26:29

to create these feelings and I endeavored to show her

26:33

some of these sentences and what could be done about it.

26:37

And among other things, I also, though briefly

26:40

because this is just one brief session,

26:42

tried to give her a homework assignment

26:44

that she could go and get her teeth into

26:46

and actively try to do to de-propagandize herself

26:50

by going out and taking risks

26:52

which normally up to now she hasn't been taking that much of.

26:56

It's interesting to note that, again quite typically,

26:58

in this session although I was attacking fairly vigorously

27:01

the patient's attitudes or philosophies,

27:04

she did not feel an attack on her.

27:07

She felt that I was supporting her, if anything,

27:10

and she ended up, I thought, rather optimistically

27:12

feeling that I had given her several ideas

27:14

of what she could do in the future.

27:17

Again rather typically, in this session

27:20

I kept persuading the patient and attacking her ideas

27:25

and showing her that her philosophy of life

27:27

not only was such and such

27:30

but that if she stuck to this kind of philosophy

27:32

she had to get negative and self-defeating results from it.

27:37

And then I kept persistently

27:40

going on even though at times she became defensive

27:43

and wasn't quite accepting by any means what I was saying,

27:46

I didn't let this bother me but kept going on

27:51

against her basic core system, her value system.

27:55

Because this is, again, what bothers patients,

27:57

that they give up very easily on attacking

28:00

their own negative evaluations of themselves

28:02

and therefore they persist forever.

28:05

Now there were limitations, of course,

28:06

especially in terms of time,

28:08

to the session and these limitations

28:11

did have some effect.

28:13

For example, there was not enough time for repetition.

28:16

In several sessions, I would have gone over

28:18

much of the same material until I was sure that it had sunk in.

28:21

Then I would have had time to get feedback from the patient

28:25

to see whether she really understand,

28:26

in action in particular, what I was talking about

28:28

and whether she was following it up or leading herself

28:31

up some other diverting pathway, which people can do.

28:35

There was no time to emphasize

28:37

that she would have to continually

28:39

reassess her evaluations of herself

28:42

and her general philosophies

28:43

and do rethinking for the rest of her life.

28:46

There was no time to show the patient very much

28:48

that even during this session, in relation to me

28:51

and what she was saying about herself,

28:53

that she was displaying her bad attitudes toward herself.

28:57

And finally, there was no occasion,

28:59

of course since this was an individual session,

29:02

to see how she related specifically

29:04

to other non-therapists as she would in group therapy,

29:07

and in the midst of this group situation

29:10

to show her exactly what was going on

29:12

and what she could do about it.

29:14

But I do feel hopeful about the session

29:18

and think that perhaps I was able at least to give the

29:20

patient a few ideas which she could then go out

29:23

and work on on her own.

29:25

Because unless patients do work themselves

29:28

with the material that we therapists give them

29:31

in psychotherapy nothing eventually happens.

29:34

It isn't any magic that we have for them

29:37

but we can give them certain catalytic ideas

29:40

and influences which then if they work and practice at,

29:43

work and practice at will do them good for the rest of their lives.